Satirical Irish News
The John O’Shea fan club, comprising of RTE Sport and the Ireland old boys club, is continuing to push for the Waterford man to be made permanent manager of the men’s senior football team.
Despite four mediocre performances yielding a solitary win courtesy of a comically butchered counter, O’Shea’s cheerleaders can’t stop singing his praises. Below are some of their recent pronouncements:
By: Clive Parrott, Snooker fan
What is wrong with this publication? I’ve opened it the last two days to see that snooker, the game I love, is either racist or an allegory for the fall of communism.
It’s neither of these things. It’s just a fucking game.
Continue reading “Opinion: Snooker is just a fucking game”By Chuck E. Cheeser, American tax-payer and patriot
Well, gosh darn it, I read yesterday’s article in this fine publication saying snooker was racist and I near choked on my Honey Vanilla Cheerios.
I’m no snooker expert, but that woman was talking baloney. I’ve done my research and what is clear is that snooker is a family-friendly game and an allegory for the fall of communism.
If you don’t know what an allegory is, and I didn’t until yesterday, it’s something that has a hidden meaning, typically a moral or political one.
Continue reading “Opinion: Snooker is an allegory for the fall of communism”By: Tina Fenty, Head of Diversity Studies, Trinity College
Racism in sport is nothing new. In my role I see case studies of this phenomenon every day. However one sport, which has passed under my radar until now, is particularly egregious.
I’m talking about snooker, the game which continues to foist the notion of white supremacy on players and spectators around the world.
In snooker the game is controlled by the white ‘cue’ ball. This ball smashes into other balls of various colours, which have been assigned points values for when they are banished from the table.
Continue reading “Opinion: Racist snooker needs to be stopped”By: Liam Mac, Limerick Fan
Lads, lads, lads. There’s been some amount of scutter written about Kyle Hayes in the last few days. And all to derail the drive for five. Ye should be ashamed, lads.
Two years suspended for violent disorder sounds bad right enough, but sure that’s just one judge’s opinion. And he’s not even from Limerick.
I’ve been following the case like a hawk and it just reinforces what a star performer Kyle is. His kicks and punches showed that ruthless aggression that have won him multiple all-stars. And that sprint from the guards his All-Ireland winning turn of pace.
I saw Kyle outside the same spot a few years back and he gave me the nod. He’s obviously sound. Can anyone so sound have committed such a crime? Besides the CCTV footage and Garda & witness statements there’s a shocking lack of evidence. If you ask me it’s Kilkenny lads stirring up bother.
Our great manager John Kiely is standing by Kyle and rightly so. Kyle isn’t just any drunk lad in a nightclub; he’s a Limerick hurler. And that should count for something. Who are we to deny him the chance to win a few more Liam McCarthy cups?
Luimneach agus Kyle Abú!
Leo Varadkar is busy enjoying his all-expenses paid junket to Washington to serve shamrock and smiles to the US.
However, The Taoiseach also has domestic matters on his mind, namely Ireland’s rugby clash with Scotland in Dublin on Saturday that could see Andy Farrell’s men claim the Six Nations Championship.
Continue reading “Varadkar calls for Ireland rugby team to be awarded Six Nations Championship”
Liverpool’s youngsters are facing detention after sleeping in and missing school following their defeat of Chelsea in Sunday’s League Cup final.
Manager Jurgen Klopp, who included eight academy players in his squad, has taken full responsibility and apologised on the under 14’s behalf.
Continue reading “Klopp Kids miss school following Wembley celebrations”
The new manager of the men’s senior international manager is to be selected by raffle, the FAI has announced.
The post has been vacant since Stephen Kenny’s departure in November, but now the FAI are confident they are close to landing their man, woman or child.
Continue reading “New Ireland manager to be selected by raffle”
Pop superstar Taylor Swift is today celebrating being the first woman to win the Super Bowl after her Kansas City Chiefs beat the San Francisco 49ers in a dramatic overtime finish.
Swift was named player of the match after throwing and catching the pass for the winning touchdown. Swift also kicked the field goal that took the game to overtime and made a crucial block on a 49er conversion attempt.
Continue reading “Taylor Swift single-handedly wins Super Bowl for Kansas City”
Viewers from around the world are keenly anticipating tonight’s annual American Advertising Bowl, as our favourite corporations reveal exciting new 30 second TV spots.
The Advertising Bowl, the world’s most watched advertising programming, is expected to feature fresh content from Bud Light, Coors and BMW amongst others.
Continue reading “Worldwide audience expected for American Advertising Bowl”