Not content with voting for each other in the Dail, Fianna Fail gombeens Timmy Dooley and Niall Collins’ complex relationship has crossed into their home lives.
Limerick West TD Collins has voted six times for Dooley when the Clare TD couldn’t be arsed doing his job. He has also been filling in at the Dooley household, carrying out husbandly duties when Dooley fancies pints with the lads.
“It’s a long way home from Leinster House, and I often can’t face it,” admitted Dooley. “Niall’s a great man for the driving, and sure when you’re from a place like Patrickswell a night in Ennis is the height of excitement.”
Collins is believed to have deputised for Dooley on a number of occasions, attending family meals and functions.
“I usually send him over when the mother-in-law is visiting,” said Dooley, “or if the wife is hosting a dinner party.”
So frequent are Collins’ visits that he has now taken up semi-permanent residence in the Dooley’s spare bedroom.
“The cranks will say it’s making a mockery of marriage, but sure the wife loves him,” said Dooley, “and he knows how to press all the right buttons. I usually can’t perform my duties after a feed of pints.”