The entire parliamentary Green Party is set to face off in the octagon after signing up for a UFC pay per view
UFC: Greenageddon will be broadcast live from Leinster House and feature all 12 Green TDs beating several environmentally friendly shades of shite out of each other.
The Greens, who have celebrated their best ever election result by turning on each other like rabid dogs, are said to have welcomed the opportunity to finally settle old scores.
“It’s going to be a battle for the ages,” said a UFC press release, “with Sleepy Eamon Ryan waking from his slumber and Calculating Catherine Martin looking to end her losing streak. The Green Blood will flow!”
Renegade duo Neasa Hourigan and Joe O’Brien, whose lack of respect makes them dangerous foes, are the early betting favourites.
Former Green Saoirse McHugh has signed on as special guest referee and told DTTN that she’s looking forward to seeing her old colleagues rip each other limb from limb.
“Hourigan and O’Brien are dirty fighters. If they bring weapons I’ll allow it. That’s what happens when you jump into bed with Fianna Fail”
The undercard will feature an interminable McHugh lecture on renewable energy and the Cork councillors who backed Martin’s failed leadership bid being run over by a Tesla.