NPHET has called for Easter eggs to be pulled from supermarket shelves with immediate effect.
“During lockdown many subjects have been comfort eating to excess,” said Dr. Ronan Glynn. “The wide availability of high-sugar, high-fat Easter eggs adds to the temptations for the weak, greedy people of Ireland.
Consumption of these chocolate time bombs leads to obesity, which in turn leads to a higher risk of Covid complications and increased strain on our hospital system. They must be eliminated.”
NPHET is drawing up a list of Melting Centres, where supermarkets will be required to transport their stock for liquidation. Private citizens holding Easter egg stockpiles will be visited by Egg Inspectors.
“People say that we’re killjoys, but Easter eggs aren’t fun; they’re deadly. No one is more fun than NPHET. This is for your own good.” concluded Dr. Glynn.
Dr. Tony Holohan also warned against egg consumption, stating that elevated sugar levels could lead to diabetes or bouts of hyperactivity that would propel subjects outside of their designated 5km zone.
As an alternative NPHET has advised parents to dye hard boiled eggs in a selection of cheerful colours. Instructions and other exciting Easter suggestions are now available under the new ‘Fun Zone’ of publichealth.ie