Satirical Irish News
US President elect Donald Trump will attempt to annex Ireland, should his controversial bid to take control of Greenland fail, DTTN has learned.
The Orange Felon, who the world is already sick of even ahead of his inauguration, told reporters of his plans at a press conference outside an Irish Bar in Florida.
Continue reading “Trump to annex Ireland should Greenland bid fail”
Sofa lover JD Vance is to step down as the Vice-Presidential candidate on the Trump ticket with immediate effect, it has been announced.
Vance, whose passion for soft furnishings is legendary, is to take up a new role in the couch department of retail giant IKEA.
Continue reading “Vance steps down from Trump ticket, takes role at IKEA”
Spanish football giant Barcelona has shocked the sporting world by making an audacious bid for former US President Donald Trump.
The Catalan club, which is pulling more levers than a bus load of OAPs on a weekend in Vegas, has already signed five players this summer despite not paying the full wages of a number of squad members.
Continue reading “Barcelona make shock Trump transfer bid”
As FBI agents continue to rustle through classified documents and Big Mac wrappers at Mar-a-Lago, former US President Donald Trump has a launched a stinging attack on Democrat ‘snakes.’
“Rules and laws are for Democrats. That’s why I’ve proudly represented the GOP since coming down the Golden Escalators in 2015 – we don’t follow rules; we make them, tremendously. Look at how we dealt with those women wanting abortions, or those anti-gun nuts,” said Trump.
Continue reading “Trump: Democrats unlawfully applying the law”
Outgoing US President Donald Trump has released a statement pardoning the domestic terrorists who stormed The Capitol Building under what he is calling the ‘A-Team principle.’
“The A-Team are tremendous people, who remind me of me: Hannibal; the great leader, Face; irresistible to women, Murdoch; a true MAGA disciple, and the other one.
Continue reading “Trump pardons A-Team, domestic terrorists”The year in review with DTTN’s resident film critic Dion Hegarty.
2020 was without doubt the most boring year in the history of mankind – the equivalent of a never ending Christopher Nolan film.
Continue reading “2020 – If Christopher Nolan did years”
A local Donald Trump supporter has expressed their shock and outrage after waking up on Monday morning to find Sunday had disappeared.
Buddy Fox (52), made his shocking discovery after being roused by his wife telling him to get to work.
Continue reading “Stop the Steal: Trump supporter angered by day changing as they slept”
The international community is coming together to build a wall around to United States, to stop their madness infecting other countries.
“Frankly, we’ve had enough of their shit,” said a spokesperson for Piss off America (POA). “If they’re not starting wars, or installing dictatorships in third world countries, they’re force feeding endless re-runs of Friends down every TV network in the world.”
Continue reading “International Community to build a wall around United States”
US retailers have reported a sharp increase in sales of bleach and fire arms in the wake of Donald Trump’s positive Covid-19 diagnosis.
Thousands of Trump supporters are stocking up in the hope of warding off the evil Chinese virus.
Continue reading “Spike in gun and bleach sales following Trump Covid diagnosis”
US President Donald Trump has announced a strategic plan to stop African Americans from continuing to walk into bullets.
“It’s incredible. We keep telling them to watch where they’re going, but they can’t stop walking right into these bullets.”
Continue reading “Trump announces strategic plan to stop African Americans walking into bullets”