Satirical Irish News
Following our previous article on cheerleaders for John O’Shea to be appointed as permanent manager of the Irish national men’s soccer team, there has been a significant backlash.
In the interests of balance DTTN has sought opinion from those opposed to appointing the Waterford man. Their thoughts are below:
Continue reading “John O’Shea – The Backlash”
The John O’Shea fan club, comprising of RTE Sport and the Ireland old boys club, is continuing to push for the Waterford man to be made permanent manager of the men’s senior football team.
Despite four mediocre performances yielding a solitary win courtesy of a comically butchered counter, O’Shea’s cheerleaders can’t stop singing his praises. Below are some of their recent pronouncements:
The new manager of the men’s senior international manager is to be selected by raffle, the FAI has announced.
The post has been vacant since Stephen Kenny’s departure in November, but now the FAI are confident they are close to landing their man, woman or child.
Continue reading “New Ireland manager to be selected by raffle”
The football world has been rocked today by the announcement that Jurgen Klopp will leave Liverpool at the end of the season.
The German manager is breaking Liverpool supporter’s hearts by bringing nine hugely successful years at Anfield to a close and DTTN understands that he has also broken Irish hearts by turning down the national team job.
Continue reading “Jurgen Klopp turns down chance to manage Ireland”
Football fans around the country are calling for indoor pub service to be brought forward to allow us laugh at England’s inevitable disastrous exit from Euro 2020.
“Laughing at English failures in the football is a great national tradition,” said a fan spokesperson. “Especially when we haven’t qualified yet again.”
Continue reading “Football fans urge early pub reopening to allow us laugh at England”
Former Sports Minister Shane Ross has today been announced as the new CEO of the FAI.
Most observers felt that Ross, who lost his seat at this month’s General Election, would face a long spell out of the public eye. No such luck.
The role became open after previous incumbent Niall Quinn ran away screaming and booked a one way ticket to Libya.
Continue reading “Shane Ross to become this week’s FAI CEO”
The Football Association of Ireland has hit a new low after officials blew the crisis-ridden organisation’s last twenty euro on Winning Streak scratch cards.
The FAI, which is €55M in debt, gambled their remaining petty cash on the cards, which offer a 1 in 1.86 chance to win a cash or three star prize.
“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” said an anonymous source, “it always does after pints.”
Continue reading “FAI Gambles Last €20 on Winning Streak Scratch Cards”