Satirical Irish News
Cork’s iconic GAA stadium Páirc Uí Chaoimh looks set to be renamed SuperValu Park, in a motion that will be presented to the Cork County Board later today.
And DTTN understands that this exciting sponsorship deal, which in no way undermines years of sporting tradition, is just the tip of the iceberg with more exciting innovations to follow.
Continue reading “Stadium renaming just the start for SuperValu Park”
Not content with bringing the country to a screeching halt, Covid-19 now has its eyes set on an inter-county GAA call up.
The virus told DTTN that it has been “training hard” since Level 5 restrictions were announced in the hope of being picked for a county panel.
Continue reading “Covid-19 training hard in hope of inter-county call up”
Local GAA Star Micky McMichael was in disgrace last night after being barred from Chancers nightclub following a physical altercation with a young woman.
McMichael (22) was partying with friends in the local hotspot, displaying the legendary discipline that saw the local team lose in the first round of the championship again this year.
“It was my round.” said McMichael “The place was jammers and there was only one lad serving. The queue was two or three deep, and I was bursting for a slash.”
Displaying a level of fortitude previously unseen by most observers, McMichael stuck it out for ten minutes, before spotting an opening to the left of the bar area.
“The spot was mine, but as I went to nip in, your wan appeared from nowhere and made a dash for it.”
Showing more aggression than he has all season, McMichael braced himself, and stepped into his opponent with what he termed “a fair shoulder.”
The contact sent the young woman sprawling, face-first into Chancer’s famously sticky carpet. McMichael showed no contrition, as he stepped forward waving a fifty euro note to secure his drinks order.
The young woman suffered severe facial bruising, but is expected to make a full recovery.
Despite being barred from Chancers for life McMichael remained unrepentant.
“It’s not my fault she hadn’t planted her leading foot,” he insisted. “I’m just pissed off I didn’t get to drink the pint I’d paid for.”