Satirical Irish News
The Healy-Rae dynasty have had enough of the NPHET strangling the life out of rural pubs and are taking action by opening a series of 1920’s style speakeasies around Kilgarvan.
“Rural Ireland, and especially Kerry, should not suffer because them Dublin Jackeens can’t stop coughing on each other,” said Danny Healy-Rae. “We want our pints and we want them now.”
Continue reading “Healy-Raes to open series of Speakeasies”
With the General Election fast approaching DTTN has offered the main political parties the chance to present their manifestos to our readers. Today we hear from Hobgoblin Healy-Rae of the great Kilgarvan Healy-Rae Dynasty.
Kerry is a magical place. I’ve seen non-Kerry folks describe it as a veritable Narnia; an unbelievable, alternate reality of great princes and supernatural beings. And they’re right.
Where else can you have a feed of pints and still drive home safely, your narrow, winding pathway illuminated by the fairy folk of the Kerry dolmen? Not up in fecking Dublin. They’d send you to jail if you even looked at a pub.
Continue reading “GE 2020: The Healy-Rae Manifesto”