Satirical Irish News
A local man is recovering in hospital this evening after accidentally eating a vegan burger.
Johnny Chops (57) came into contact with vegan substances after a drunken order went horribly wrong at McDonalds.
Continue reading “Local man recovering after accidentally eating vegan burger”
The 999 emergency service is to undergo a drastic revamp, the HSE has announced.
Currently any Irish citizen experiencing an emergency can ring 999 or 112 for ambulance, fire and police services.
However, from 1st October the line will be discontinued and replaced by the new Emerge-n-Z app.
Continue reading “999 Emergency line to be replaced by new app”
The HSE has issued a warning regarding the potential hazards of hit show Normal People, whose frequent sexy bits have caused stirrings in the community.
“It’s a dirty show. A dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty show,” said a HSE source “Anyone who comes into contact with such depraved filth should wash their hands for a minimum of twenty minutes.”
Continue reading “HSE calls on public to wash hands for 20 minutes after viewing Normal People”
Green Party leader Eamon Ryan has called for wolves to be enrolled by the government to help ease the pressure on health workers during the Covid-19 pandemic.
Ryan, whose party advocated the re-introduction of wolves to “re-wild” parts of the country during the recent election, has taken his controversial proposals to a new level.
Continue reading “Green Party calls for HSE to employ wolves”