A local mother is absolutely raging at Netflix after her
child was traumatised watching Squid Game.
Karen Nerak (34) told DTTN
that her five year old son Adam has not slept since watching an episode of the
Korean thriller-horror show that has become a worldwide sensation.
A Local content
enthusiast has been awarded the freedom of the town after successfully watching
every single program on Netflix.
Large crowds turned out at town hall to watch
Tom O’Hawk, who has watched every single minute of those awful Adam Sandler
films and all the other shite everyone skips over, receive a ceremonial Golden
Remote from the Mayor.
“I didn’t think it was such a big deal,”
said a bemused O’Hawk, who dressed for the occasion in his standard Netflix viewing
outfit of black shorts and old white t-shirt. “The town must be really gone to
shit if they’re celebrating something like this.”
O’Hawk, who admitted to having watched
only a moderate amount of Netflix until losing his job six months ago, said
that there had been “fuck all else” to do between trips to the post office and
futile attempts at job searching.
“Tom is a role-model for the young people
of the town,” said the Mayor. “Losing his job could have sent him into the
usual spiral of drink, drugs and enforced prostitution, but instead he picked
himself up, focused on a goal, and achieved the impossible.”
Asked how he planned to follow up this
momentous achievement, O’Hawk shrugged and mumbled something about downloading
a VPN and trying out US Netflix. His ambition knows no bounds.