Satirical Irish News
Fresh from a series of sexist pronouncements on female football commentators, ex-footballer Joey Barton has now turned his gaze to the kitchen.
Barton’s one man crusade to save society from unqualified women ruining everything has now widened to stopping them from cooking Christmas dinner.
Continue reading “Joey Barton claims women should not be allowed cook Christmas dinner”
Christmas dinner components should be served on separate plates to reduce Covid transmission risks, An Tanaiste has announced.
“Christmas dinner has three main components,” said Leo Varadkar. “The meat, the spuds and the veggies. We’re advising that families provide guests with a separate disenfected plate for each element. Covid could be lurking in the sprouts or the stuffing. We can’t be too safe.”
Continue reading “Government advises Christmas Dinner be served on three plates, bans gravy”
In a move inspired by Boris Johnson’s Brexit pledge, the British Association of Turkeys (BATS) is pushing forward with plans for an ‘oven ready’ Christmas.
A BATS spokesturkey declared that their membership had overwhelmingly voted 52%-48% in favour of being cooked for Christmas dinner.
Continue reading “Turkey Baster Brexit Why?”