Satirical Irish News
As the Catholic world mourns the death of Pope Francis an unlikely successor has emerged in the form of US President Donald Trump.
“The Pope has died, so sad,” said The Melon Felon. “That’s why you shouldn’t put sleepy old men in office. The Vatican needs someone young and vital, like me. Doctors say I would be the healthiest Pope to ever live and would look tremendous in a pointy hat.
Continue reading “Trump declares intention to become Pope, make Vatican 51st state”
US President Donald Trump just can’t stop making headlines, but his latest revelations have shocked even the most jaded observers.
Trump told reporters at The White House that his brain has been replaced by a hamster called ‘Hammy’, who dictates all his actions.
“Many people are in awe of what I’m doing,” said the Melon Felon. “The numbers, the tariffs, are so tremendously good. ‘President Trump, Sir,’ they say, ‘how do you continue to make such amazing decisions?’
Continue reading “Trump: Hammy the Brain Hamster tells me what to do”
Donald Trump has intensified his war on the US Postal Service by launching an astonishing attack on Postman Pat.
“Postman Pat is an un-American spy,” stated Trump at a White House briefing. “He’s been driving around a red van full of rigged ballot papers from England!”
Continue reading “Trump declares Postman Pat a threat to national security”