With less than 48 hours passing between its announcement and the Premier League clubs withdrawing, the European Super League was shot down faster than an African-American in a gated community.
Details leaked in the media were sketchy. However, DTTN has obtained a secret dossier after lobbing Florentino Perez a fiver and a book of expired McDonald’s vouchers.
Amongst the incredible innovations that would have been introduced are:
- Teams to wear brand new kit designs for each game to maximise shirt sales.
- Star players to perform ‘Social Media skits’ posting to Instagram live during games.
- Fans to be subject to credit check before entering arena.
- Draws to be abolished. In the event of a tie winner to be decided by team with highest merchandise sales over the previous 90 minutes.
- Goals to be widened and teams not allowed to field goalkeepers.
- Fans to vote for celebrities and influencers to join their favourite franchise.
- All teams fielding celebrities to receive an extra two points per game.
- All teams to play one home match in Qatar and two home matches on specially built facility on the moon.
- Teams to have equal share of intergalactic TV rights for undiscovered galaxies.
At the time of writing the Super League dream seems further away than ever, but DTTN sincerely hopes that some of these fabulous ideas make their way into the boring old European leagues.