Former US President Donald Trump has become the shock favourite to succeed outgoing DUP leader Arlene Foster.
Trump, who has spent the last few months playing golf and spewing hate speech, sees the post as the ideal warm-up for his 2024 Presidential campaign.
“Northern Ireland is a complex place and no one understands it like me,” Trump told One America News. “I know all about the oranges. I don’t eat them myself, but I admire them greatly.
The Orange Folk are all about MAGA and we need to Make Antrim Great Again. It’s so sad to see how they have been treated by the dirty Southerners.
I made that country. I built a great golf course on the west coast, a beautiful course. And how did they repay me? By cheering for Sleepy Joe.
Those dirty leprechauns won’t be laughing when we build a wall around them. They tore down one when they voted for Brexit, but we will build a better, taller wall and stop them all coming up here to buy their wine and petrol. It’s going to be amazing.”
The Northern Irish community has greeted the news with a shrug, with most believing “he can’t be any worse than Arlene.”
DUP representatives were not available for comment but are due to be outraged at any moment.