A local man has told of his fear of transforming into a horse after recently completing a month’s supply of Ivermectin.
Pony Sugrue (32) told DTTN that he had procured the commonly used horse and cattle dewormer from the local vet who “owed me a favour.”
“I saw they’re all taking the Ivermectin in America and having a grand time of it. I’m not one for vaccines as I don’t like putting funny stuff in me body, so this looked daycent.”
Sugrue first noted unusual symptoms after reading Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift.
“I read about these horse fellas who were more intelligent than everyone else. And, by Christ, I thought that’s me! A few weeks in I started craving hay and sugar lumps and now I can’t pass a low wall without jumping it.”
Sugrue was not impressed when his vet friend explained that the side effects were purely psychosomatic.
“Some cheek on him. I’m no psycho. That’s the last time I take medical advice from a lad who puts his hand up dog’s arses,” he neighed.
DTTN consulted with medical experts, who concluded that it was not possible for Sugrue to morph into a Swiftian horse creature, as Swift’s Houyhnhnm were rational beings.