An Garda Siochana are licking their lips in anticipation with the proposed roll out of variable speed limits on the M50.
The speed limits, which will be adjusted for road incidents and weather, will be fully operational by early 2023.
And the Gardai are anticipating that driver confusion will lead to a mountain of speeding tickets to swell their coffers.
“It’s going to be mighty,” said a Garda spokesperson. “Our station could do with a lick of paint. And I’ve my eye of one of those vibrating ergonomic office chairs. This could be the making of us.”
Official communications have indicated that the variable limits are being introduced for driver safety, but Garda sources have privately conceded to DTTN this is not strictly true.
“It’ll be even better than those speed vans everyone loves,” said the source. “We’ll have Jimmy up at the monitors with the button. One swipe and the speed limit goes from 100 to 70 and you’ve a few dozen buckos forking out €80 in fixed charge fines. Pure genius.
We’ll have to temper it a bit, as we don’t want everyone off the road with the penalty points, but it’ll be a big help towards the ol’ holiday slush fund. The pints are on us!”