Beloved TV character Peppa Pig is to be sold to the UK government so her parents can afford social care.
The move comes on the back of controversial changes announced by the Department of Health and Social Care, putting a cap of £86k on lifetime care costs, meaning that the UK’s poorest pensioners could pay the same as the wealthiest.
“We don’t want families to lose their homes,” said a government spokesperson. “So instead they can sell us their children to work in the civil service. It’s a fair deal.”
Daddy Pig, who has been unemployed since losing his job as an architect at the start of the pandemic, said the family had reluctantly decided to let Peppa go.
“I asked Mummy Pig to go out and work but she was too busy splashing in muddy puddles. We don’t want to lose Peppa, but it’s the only way we can keep the family home. And we’re happy the PM has taken a special interest in her.
“Peppa is a wonderful specimen,” gurgled Prime Minster Boris Johnson. “She’ll make a fine addition to my dinner plate, I mean staff.”
The Prime Minister signed off by making car engine noises as he splashed in a muddy puddle outside 10 Downing Street.