As the UK continues to mourn Queen Elizabeth II, her successor King Charles III has been growing accustomed to his new role.
Monday brought the good news that Charles would be exempt from inheritance tax on the vast fortune he is being bequeathed. The monarch celebrated by putting staff at his Clarence House residence on notice for redundancy.
Tuesday brought further complications for the sausage fingered royal, as he lost a protracted inky battle with a fountain pen when crankily signing the visitor’s book at Hillsborough Castle.
Unkind observers would cast these events as an inauspicious markers for Charles’ reign, but DTTN is sure they are just growing pains for a man thrust into destiny at an age most just want a nice cup of tea.
Preparations for the Queen’s state funeral continue, with hospitals and food banks amongst the organisations due to shut their doors on 19th September as mark of respect.
So, even if royal subjects suffer a medical emergency on that day or are unable to feed their family at least they will be comforted by the incessant, obsequious BBC coverage.
And as they sit in their darkened homes, numbed by pain and hunger, they will rise up and give three cheers for their unelected head of state one last time.