Fresh from his dreams of making Rwanda the ultimate asylum destination experience being dashed, British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has launched another audacious feel-good scheme to delight voters.
“The British public love nothing more than a dreamer,” said Sunak. “No one thought we could make Brexit a success, or make Rwanda work, but we dreamed big and continue to do so.
That’s why today I’m unveiling an emergency proposal to send The Great British Bake Off team to Gaza to solve the Israel-Hamas conflict through the power of baking.
The Bake Off has brought comfort to British viewers for many years and we feel that it can raise the spirits of traumatised Gaza residents and help achieve a strong, well-baked solution.”
Under the proposal both sides will send their strongest baker to compete in the show’s famed Signature, Technical and Showstopper rounds. The winner will receive the accolade of Star Baker, a Paul Hollywood handshake and possession of Gaza. The special edition of the show will be broadcast live on Channel 4.
“It is a tense situation, but no tenser than the Bake Off Tent on finals week,” said Sunak, “if gentle humour, Noel Fielding’s jumpers and ganache can’t overcome this conflict nothing will.”