The Mona Lisa has complained about the lack of catering facilities at The Louvre, claiming that she is “fucking starving.”
Leonardo Da Vinci’s famous painting, which has been hanging at the Paris museum since 1804, has made headlines after being covered in soup by protesters for sustainable food.
“It’s slim pickings. I might get the odd fly, or if I’m really lucky a nice rat, said the Mona Lisa. “A few years back I had some cake, but it was carrot. Who likes fucking carrot cake?
I mean, I’m in France, for fuck’s sake. It’s supposed to be the gastronomic capital of Europe, sustainable or not. What I’d give for a pain au chocolat or a buttered croissant. Something fucking substantial. Not just poxy soup from a can.”
The Mona Lisa has informed Louvre staff that she is not willing to go on display again until she gets a proper meal and is demanding a traditional French lunch, avec vin rouge, to be served to her every day.
“And if they can’t do that, then at least a fucking Big Mac,” she concluded.