A local terrorist has been left devastated after Dublin airport introduced new rules requiring hoodies and baggy jumpers to be removed at security checks.
Fiachra MacFiacla of Éire Abú; the Gaeilgeoir organisation that wants Irish to become Europe’s official language, told DTTN that the change was a massive inconvenience.
“We’ve tried promoting Irish through education,” said MacFiacla, “but no one listens to our cupla focal. That’s why we had to turn to the ol’ terrorism – it makes people take notice.”
MacFiacla and other members of Éire Abú had plans to make a big noise in-flight on St. Patricks’s Day.
“We’ve been practicing making explosives based off YouTube videos we found. And we’d have them under our official Éire Abú hoodies we’d carry on to the flights. We were going to set them off in the toilets. Just a small explosion, to symbolise how the Anglo-Saxons have destroyed the Irish language.
Now we need to remove the hoodies, but if we remove them we get caught, and if we don’t wear them how will people know we’re Éire Abú? They might take us for really bad guys, like those Muslims. We don’t want to kill people, we just want to make them all speak as Gaeilge.”
Éire Abú are now considering alternative actions, such as super-gluing themselves to airplanes or booing loudly at in-flight announcements made in English.