Assessment of applications for jobseeker’s allowance, illness benefit and a range of other payments is to get a radical overhaul, the Department of Social Welfare has announced.
Instead of having to fill out forms applicants will be able to upload a 30 second TikTok video to the department website outlining why they deserve payment.
“We want to bring welfare payments into the 21st century,” said a department spokesperson. “We all have hectic lifestyles, even the unemployed and infirm, so why spend hours giving accurate and detailed documentation when you can simply dance your ass off!”
TikTok applications will be assessed on a sliding scale with points awarded for originality, difficulty of dance moves and stupid facial expressions.
“It can’t just be you shuffling around to Ed Sheeran. Come on lads, we need more effort than that. You wouldn’t get a fiver,” said the spokesperson. “And no fecking Taylor Swift. We’re sick of her. Any Swift automatically receives zero payment.
We want something exciting! You dancing on the edge of a cliff or on top of the Eiffel Tower. That’d get you full whack.”
The change has created controversy, with critics fearing the process will prove arbitary, subject only to the assessors musical and aesthetic tastes.
“Sure there’s no fear of that,” replied the spokesperson. “We all have Spotify now. Some of the younger lads even listen to that rap stuff.”