Harris and Sunak to decide asylum seeker’s fate over game of Rock Paper Scissors

According to recent reports 80% of people seeking asylum in Ireland are arriving here via Northern Ireland.

That’s something British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak is particularly pleased about, as his threat of shipping asylum seekers off to Rwanda appears to be an effective deterrent.

However, Taoiseach Simon Harris is sick of Sunak’s shit and has challenged him to a game of Rock Paper Scissors to decide the fate of the asylum applicants.

“There’s just too many to cope with,” said a government source. “I’ve seen a family of four living in a rolled up pair of football socks in Bray. It’s not sustainable.

If the English won’t listen to reason, and sure, when do they, then we’ll do what we enjoy best; giving them a competitive beating.”

The Taoiseach’s department has faxed the challenge to the Prime Minister, outlining the rules for what will be a best of five series.

Downing Street sources are understood to be confident of victory.

“If we don’t win the best of five then we’ll just make it best of seven, nine, eleven, moving the goalposts until we wear them down. Just like Brexit,” said a Tory bootlicker. “Rock means rock! And rock always wins.”

Spread the love

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *