A local influencer has been left traumatised after weeks of exposure to posters for the upcoming local and European elections.
“They’re just so gaudy, so tacky,” said Camilla Chamomile (25), “the colour schemes are sickly, the shots off centre. So, so just not Insta worthy.”
Chamomile has been so upset by the posters that she is now afraid to leave her apartment until after election day on 7th June.
“I was heading out yesterday for a skinny oat latte and someone had put up a poster of a creature wearing a sweater vest. It was so hideous it gave me a migraine. I had to lie in the dark for the rest of the day.”
And Chamomile is calling for a total ban of campaign posters, or at the very least a ban on candidate photos.
“All the men are fat or bald or both. And their complexions are hideous. You can tell they’ve just eaten a large carvery. You can practically smell the gravy. Gross.
Some of the women look ok, I guess, in a glassy-eyed Stepford way, but that’s not my kind of thing, no matter how many followers ask for it!
I’ll keep posting on my socials until they take them all down. And if they don’t I may just have to run myself next time. The local council won’t be able to handle my extreme natural beauty. #Maybelline #Minx.”