Outgoing Mexican President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador has vowed that the country will build a wall to keep out American felons like Donald Trump.
With the Mexican general election taking place on Sunday all parties have agreed that a wall, the larger the better, is the only way to keep Mexican citizens safe from the demon Americano.
“Our borders are too open,” sad Lopez Obrador. “And that leads to sex offenders and felons such as Trump and his cohorts coming to destroy our beautiful country.
We don’t mind the good Americans. The ones who stay at our resorts and support the local economy, but criminals like Trump can get fucked.
Him and those college students who treat our beautiful communities like open-air toilets. Cancun is a wonderful, historic city, not just a place for Spring Break idiots to leave behind a trail of urine and vomit.
The wall will be a large and costly undertaking, but all parties feel it is necessary to safeguard our country from unwanted, often undocumented immigrants.
It may take some years, but we will not rest until every Mexican man, woman and child is safe from the pernicious influence of the American scum. Americans go home.”