Billionaire douche nozzle Elon Musk has announced he is to write a bestselling memoir.
The South African haemorrhoid made the announcement at the inauguration of his sock puppet Donald Trump.
The book, titled My Struggle, will take readers on a spell binding journey from Musk’s privileged, diamond mine owning, childhood in Pretoria, to his purchase of Tesla and desecration of the memory of Nikola Tesla, right through to taking charge of and completely obliterating Twitter purely to massage his Jupiterian ego.
My Struggle will salute all of the many facets of Musk’s life, including all the many times he was right and very, very far right.
Even though Musk has not yet written the book it is already gone to number one on the New York Times bestseller list and garnered rave reviews from many Twitter users.
One such user, an Adrian Dittmann, who is definitely not a Musk alter-ego, has been particularly effusive calling My Struggle “the greatest achievement in literature since Ulysses,” and that Mr. Musk was “a visionary beyond compare. If I had a womb I would have his children.”
Not to be outdone, President Trump is understood to be planning a range of colouring books based on McDonalds Happy Meals.