Local father Freddie Myers has already eaten all his family’s Halloween sweets and confected a flimsy pretext for his gluttony.
Myers, who is working from home during the school mid-term break, had initially opened a fun pack of Giant Buttons as “a treat” for the kids as they watched Ratatouille on Netflix.
“They’re just so tasty,” said Myers, “and it’s not like in the office where they sit there judging when your mouth and keyboard are smeared in chocolate.”
The father of two was inspired to abandon his usual work to create a colour-coded treat chart, where different sweets are aligned with different times of the day.
“For example, a cup of tea means chocolate, something melty like a Twirl or Wispa. Haribo for coffee, Tangfastics if it’s a latte. Then we have the pre and post lunch Monster Munch allocation. Post 3pm slump calls for ice cream, ideally an entire Romantica.”
The Myers Scale, as Myers is insisting on calling it, has seen the IT consultant plough through his entire body weight in sugar as he oscillates between manic productivity and near comatose dribbling.
Myers, who claims that the scale represents a breakthrough in snacking synergy, has ransacked the confectionary aisles of several local supermarkets as he searches for sweet spot perfection.