Local cat Mr. Cuddles was left reeling last night after his owners decided to go fully vegetarian.
In addition to his usual diet of cat nuts, Mr. Cuddles had grown accustomed to tasty morsels of chicken, beef and lamb being provided from the dinner table, as well as the odd packet of cold meat. This is now set to come to an end.
James & Susan O’Brien, who had been eating a reduced meat diet due to their environmental concerns, have told friends they are now going completely vegetarian and may even consider veganism to do their bit to save the planet.
Mr. Cuddles, who thinks the planet can go fuck itself, has been living rent free in the O’Brien household for over five years. His latest attempts to register his displeasure include clawing both James and Susan’s legs and knocking lentil dishes from the table.
However, his protests appear to be in vain, as the O’Briens have begun to shop exclusively at the local health food store and have purchased a Happy Pear cookbook.
It is believed that Mr. Cuddles will make one last ditch attempt to change their mind by taking a dump in the marital bed.
Should the O’Briens not prove amenable, Mr. Cuddles plans to relocate next door, where local bachelor Timmy Magee subsists on a largely carnivorous diet, and has been known to share tasty morsels in the past.