A newly elected TD is missing tonight after his election celebrations took a tragic turn.
Brian O’Brien, the founder and sole member of the Fix the Fucking Roads Party, was elected on the two hundred and fifty-seventh count. Mr. O’Brien was celebrating by getting a round of the bumps from well-wishers when tragedy struck.
“Brian is a big part of the local GAA scene, so some of the lads were getting stuck in with the bumps. We took it out to the pitch for the craic and started going higher and higher,” said one witness.
The incident occurred when local GAA stalwart Dinny ‘The Rock’ O’Toole joined in the merriment.
“The Rock has the strength of five men. I’ve seen him break corner-forwards with a flick of his wrist, so poor Brian had no chance when he threw his full weight behind him.”
The newly elected TD was launched into the night sky and has not been seen since. Local Gardai have contacted NASA to see if O’Brien has registered on their radars.
“I’m sure he’ll be down at some stage. He can’t stay up in orbit forever,” said the witness. “And besides, I’m fucked if I’m out campaigning for another by-election next month.”
The Rock O’Toole is now facing a disciplinary hearing from the local GAA board.