Sinn Fein president Mary Lou McDonald has invited representatives from all parties to join her at an all you can eat buffet at her local Chinese.
“Sinn Fein didn’t win this election by not looking to build bridges,” said McDonald, conveniently ignoring that they didn’t actually win the election, “so we’re inviting everyone to pick up their inter-party chopsticks and have a ra-ra-ra sing-song.”
Several left leaning parties have confirmed their attendance. A Labour spokesperson stated they were in no position to turn down the offer of a free spring roll and would look to share a taxi home.
Others have turned down the invitation. A spokesperson for The Greens cited the lack of vegan options and unethical sourcing of freshwater prawns.
The Healy-Raes stated that as they were indispensable to Kerry folk they could not risk setting foot in a Chinese restaurant “for the foreseeable future.” They have presented McDonald with a counter offer of a “few pints in Kilgarvan.”
Leo Varadkar confirmed that Fine Gael would not be present as Sinn Fein and Chinese food give him the shits.
Fianna Fail has not yet responded, but DTTN understands that they will definitely attend, maybe, but only if they get the biggest table and their own plate of prawn crackers.