It’s been one month since the General Election the main parties are continuing to circle each other like tipsy teenagers at an underage disco. In order to understand their mindset DTTN has asked a 14 year old schoolgirl to explain:
“I mean, Leo thought he was hot stuff. Filtered selfies all over Insta, and like, socks? But he’s just losing like sooo many followers because, well, he’s a bit too self-obssesed. Get over yourself Leo.
Michael is this creepy old uncle guy. He’s been like, lurking for years, but his group lost all their followers ‘cause they wouldn’t stop trolling everyone. He freaks me out.
Then there’s Mary Lou. She’s all like, girl power, and stuff. Her videos are getting all these hits, which is totally random. But there’s something off about her, like she’s got troubles, or something?
So, this is where it gets juicy.
Michael really wants to go with Leo, but his followers totally don’t want it. Leo only wants to go with himself. I’ve heard that they’re like twins, or something, so I guess that might be illegal?
Then there’s this weirdo called Eamon. He only has like, six followers, and drives, like a bike? He’s a real dweeb, but everyone wants to go with him. I guess he’s like, some sort of hot nerd?
Mary-Lou thinks she should be able to go with, like, whoever she wants, ‘cause she’s got the most followers. She’s been sending sexy DMs to all these randomers, but no one’s replied. Morto.”