The White House has announced a new system that requires state governors to use tokens to purchase ventilators and other essential medical equipment.
Governors will bid to purchase Trump Tokens, to be redeemed through the trumptokens.com portal. Each Trump Token has a list price of $50 and carries the likeness of President Trump.
“The new Trump Token portal will eliminate confusion over the ventilator acquisition process,” said a White House spokesperson. “If governors don’t buy enough tokens to purchase a ventilator, they obviously don’t care about their people.”
A limited edition of one million Trump Tokens will be issued, with state governor’s being urged to bid against each other to increase prices.
“We want to make this easier for governors,” said the spokesperson, “so for each 10,000 tokens they spend they’ll get a voucher for 20% off a night’s stay in a standard room in a Trump hotel of their choice.”
The scheme will require governors to pay a one-off $50,000 registration fee. In return, they will receive a welcome pack which includes a signed photo of the President, a miniature bottle of hand sanitiser and a Keep America Great pin badge.