The HSE has issued a warning regarding the potential hazards of hit show Normal People, whose frequent sexy bits have caused stirrings in the community.
“It’s a dirty show. A dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty show,” said a HSE source “Anyone who comes into contact with such depraved filth should wash their hands for a minimum of twenty minutes.”
Washing with regular soap and water alone may not suffice. According to the source viewers should use “a good strong carbolic soap and keep going until you feel the fingers burn.”
It is also recommended that viewers slather their entire body in disinfectant and stand weeping a cold shower for a good long while thinking about what they’ve done.
“When you think about the delicate state the country is in, these brazen displays of nudity are really galling. This isn’t normality, young people aren’t supposed to just randomly walk around the streets with their tops off. They could all get infected.”
The HSE stated that best practice for Normal People was for the public to socially distance at least several miles away from the closest television.
“If they must watch it they should do so at a safe distance. And they should know that we’re all judging them. The filthy perverts.”