The Vintners’ Federation of Ireland has given a cautious welcome to government plans to move pub re-opening to 20th July – Phase 4 of lockdown easing.
However, customers will need to wear face masks for the duration of their visit, making it impossible for them to drink their pints.
“We welcome the announcement,” said a VFI spokesperson. “But we’re concerned that customers may not enjoy sitting through their allocated timeslot with an untouched pint in front of them.”
Industry experts have mooted that thirsty punters could modify masks with a resealable flap, or try sucking their drinks through a straw.
“It’s not ideal,” said one local publican. “My regulars are great men for the three gulp method. I don’t think they’ll manage that with a mask on.
We’re looking at some creative solutions. The wife is a nurse and said she could hook the lads up with pint drips. I’m not sure if they’d go for it though.”
“It’s a fucking disgrace,” said one local drinker. “That said, I’m sick of being judged for downing 12 cans every Friday night. I’ll drink pints from a bedpan if they ask me to.”
DTTN understands there is no basis in the rumour that Diageo are developing a pint sized mask.