In an exclusive sit down interview with DTTN infamous virus Covid-19 has lashed out at the people of Ireland for the lack of welcome it’s received since hitting our shores several months ago.
“Flu and cold told me that Ireland was the land of the céad míle fáilte, but all I’ve had is door after door slammed in my face. The Irish have been so rude and unwelcoming. It’s almost as if they don’t want me here.”
Covid-19 admitted that it did enjoy some initial hospitality, including a memorable weekend jaunt to Cheltenham, but that the public soon turned as it made its presence known.
“Patrick’s weekend was a real let down. I just wanted a few pints and a trad session, but every pub I tried shut their doors on me. Where was the craic?
Next thing I know no one’s returning my calls, they’re all hiding at home and won’t even come out for a coffee or a round of golf. Am I that awful?”
Covid-19 told us that the rejection led to a long period of introspection and lengthy Zoom therapy sessions.
“I worked it through with my therapist, and we concluded that the Irish are just gobshites. I’m moving on to where my talents are appreciated.”