European Commissioner Phil Hogan has demanded a full apology from the Irish public.
Hogan has been making headlines due to his involvement in the infamous Golfgate incident, and using a mobile while driving.
“People have been calling on me to consider my position,” said the former Fine Gael TD, “but really the narrow minded bastards should be begging my forgiveness.
After all I’ve done for the country – property tax, water charges; the lot, do these ingrates really begrudge me a round of golf and a few pints?”
Hogan, who earns a basic salary of €270,000 per annum, is understood to have welcomed the chance for some free grub at the Golf Society dinner.
“Since Covid hit there’s been feck all chances to hit up the expense account. Surely a small shindig is the least I can expect.”
Hogan, who has continually rebuffed calls for his resignation stated that the pints were “mighty” and that the “curtain twitching killjoys” wouldn’t spoil his fun.
Regarding the phone incident, the Kilkenny man stated that he had been anticipating an important EU business call, and so had the set to hand.
Hogan denied the rumours that he was swiping through Tinder, looking for the next person to screw.