US President Donald Trump has announced a strategic plan to stop African Americans from continuing to walk into bullets.
“It’s incredible. We keep telling them to watch where they’re going, but they can’t stop walking right into these bullets.”
Walking into bullets is now the leading cause of death in the African American community, with mortality rates especially high for males aged 18-40.
“That’s why I’m launching the Watch Before Walking campaign. African Americans need to realise there could be a bullet lurking around every corner. It’d be a shame to see more die, especially in an election year.”
Trump conceded that with so many Americans bearing arms it was possible the situation could worsen before improving.
“Are you going to tell a sweet five year old girl to watch where she’s shooting just because an African American might be lurking in the bushes? I’m not.”
The President expressed relief that the situation did not affect The White House.
“Thankfully we don’t have many African-Americans in the administration, so we’re free to discharge our firearms as needed.”
African Americans will be able to find more information at watchbeforewalking.gov.net. If they don’t walk into a bullet first.