Scottish Chippers offering deep fried Covid

Scottish chippers have a new addition to their menu they hope will boost flagging tourist numbers.

Deep fried Covid is being offered on a trial basis across a number of Edinburgh chippers for the month of September.

“Scotland is renowned for its cuisine,” said one chip shop owner. “We’re the home of the deep fried pizza and the deep fried Mars Bar.

We rely on the international tourist trade; they flock here for our deep frying. Covid has really hit us. So we thought, fuck it, if we can’t beat it let’s deep fry it.”

Deep fried Covid is available as a standalone menu item. Customers can also enjoy a Covid Supper, which comes with chips and a choice of mushy peas or curry sauce.

“Our regulars love it. They say it goes down well after a few pints of Tennent’s.”

Should the deep fried Covid offering prove successful it is expected that it will spread rapidly around Scotland, and into other parts of the UK.

Chip shop owners deny that serving Covid presents a public health issue, stating that “all our Covid is locally sourced and fully certified by the NHS.”

Customers can also purchase a side serving of PPE with their Covid for £1 extra.

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