Wet pubs re-opened today, with punters finally enjoying a few pints without the accompaniment of a substantial meal.
However, publicans have expressed dismay at a NPHET edict that all drinks must be consumed through disposable plastic straws.
“Just when things are looking up they go and throw more shite at us,” said one frustrated publican.
“I don’t mind it for cocktails, we expect that. But who wants to drink a pint or a glass of wine through a straw? It’s against God.”
Punters also expressed their disapproval at the measure.
“We’re all sick of the nanny state, but having us sup like a bunch of five year olds with Capri Suns is just taking the piss,” said one drinker as he sipped Guinness through a bendy red and white straw.
Publicans also expressed concerns at the potential health hazards posed by the straws.
“What if one fella sticks his straw into another lad’s pint and starts blowing bubbles in it? Or worse – they start spitting beer across the room at each other. It could cause all sorts.”
The NPHET declined to comment, but a source told DTTN that the publicans should be thankful that they didn’t make them eat pints with spoons.