In an exclusive interview with DTTN Fungie the Dolphin has shared his message for the Irish people.
Fungie, who has been based in Dingle since 1983, told us what he really wanted to say was “So long, and thanks for all the fish.”
After 37 years of entertaining boatloads of tourists for a few mackerel, the bottlenose dolphin has finally had enough of our nonsense.
“I was already burnt out from all those Kerry fishermen exploiting my good nature, but this Covid shit is the last straw,” said Fungie.
“I don’t want to live in a country full of drooling idiots rubbing off each other at endless house parties. And as for the fucking government, they’ve had six months and all they have is an extra 30 HSE beds and another lockdown. Muppets.”
Fungie expressed his admiration for the Healy-Raes, but the promise of being added to the Kilgarvan ticket at the next local election was not enough to hold him.
“I’m moving to New Zealand. They know how to respect their population, especially their dolphins. I’m a big admirer of Jacinda Ardern. She could stroke my dorsal fin any day.”
Kerry County Council has announced plans for Pat Spillane to be installed as a Fungie replacement in Dingle Bay.