Not content with bringing the country to a screeching halt, Covid-19 now has its eyes set on an inter-county GAA call up.
The virus told DTTN that it has been “training hard” since Level 5 restrictions were announced in the hope of being picked for a county panel.
“I’ve been hard at it. No pints since Wednesday, eating mounds of pasta and even getting out for the odd jog,” said Covid.
With GAA players continuing to travel the country for inter-county matches, despite the rest of us not being allowed move more than 5km, their chances of infection seem particularly high.
“These GAA lads are mad for pucking and spitting at each other. And then they’re horsing into service station delis on the way home. They’re just asking for trouble.
Once I’ve struck down enough to decimate a panel, they’ll have no choice but to pick me. I’m not the most co-ordinated, but I move fast and am lethal in the right conditions.”
Covid stated that it did not have a preferred county but hoped to represent as many as possible before the GAA season drew to a close.
Sky Sports are believed to be planning a Covid Transfer Special for any moves the virus does make.