RTE have announced the launch of RTE Holohan, a new TV channel that will broadcast exclusive content from Ireland’s Chief Medical Officer.
“Dr. Tony Holohan has become our nation’s biggest star and it’s only right we give him a further platform to share his views over and over and over again,” said an RTE spokesperson.
“Now whenever viewers turn on their TV they’ll see Dr. Holohan’s scowling face staring back, any time of day or night.”
Dr. Holohan, who already monopolises every news bulletin, Prime Time, Claire Byrne Live and The Late Late Show, is said to be surprised it has taken so long for such recognition to arrive.
Proposed programming for the channel includes The Holohan Power Hour, where Dr. Holohan, in full leather, will spank the nation’s collective botty for being very, very naughty.
Viewers can also look forward to The Holohan Ponder Hour where Dr. Holohan quietly reclines on a chaise longue, ignoring his part in the Cervical Check scandal.
Bad Boys will feature The Doc in full riot gear, breaking up illegal house parties and beating the shit out of everyone.
The Angelus will be replaced by Dr. Holohan solemnly intoning ‘bong’ for sixty seconds.
RTE Holohan launches 31st October.