Singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran has announced a new album to be released on Valentine’s Day.
The Magnolia Album, which is available for pre-order, is sure to lift the spirits of Sheeran’s legion adoring fans.
“The Beatles had The White Album, Metallica had The Black Album,” said a spokesperson for Sheeran’s label Warner. “Ed wanted something that expressed his truest artistic vision. That vision brought us Magnolia.”
To create the highly anticipated album, Sheeran built an Excel macro, which not only provided the name, but also wrote all the music and lyrics.
“It’s dead handy,” said Sheeran, “and cuts down on all that dull studio time. I just enter the type of song I want – a sad ballad, an uptempo rocker, an Irish one and hey presto, I’ve got a finished album.
It gives me more time to practice my faux humility and check the bank balance. The haters say it’s not art, but they’ve never headlined Glastonbury with just an acoustic guitar and a hoodie.
It’s a Valentine’s present for my fans. They love buying my music, and I love the receipts, especially during these difficult times.”
The Magnolia Album has already gone to number one in seven galaxies